The organisers of the London 2012 Olympic Games have sold out to McDonald's so spectacularly I wouldn't be surprised if Jessica Ennis collects her medal on the podium and is then asked 'Do you want fries with that?'
If you missed the grotesque development I'm referring to, allow me to provide a free refill - I mean recap. McDonald's has been allowed to open its largest-ever 'restaurant' right in the heart of the Olympic Park, a facility stretching 3,000sq metres across two floors, with three more of its burger outlets plonked elsewhere on the 2012 site.
Supersized: An image of the record-breaking McDonald's restaurant in the Olympic village at Stratford
Apparently this centrepiece McDonald's will have 1,500 seats and 'brightly coloured stools', which is an unfortunate by-product of selling all that fast food I suppose. There are also claims it will provide the largest peacetime catering operation the country has ever seen.
Well done everyone. Kerching! Defibrillators all round.
The Golden Arches of the American burger giants have been entwined with the five Olympic rings in a mutually beneficial death grip for so long we almost forget to be staggered by the strange marriage sport forges with junk food.
The idea McDonald's is even allowed to be a sponsorship partner for sport or pretend it in any way contributes to sporting prowess is simply illogical.
Talk about mixed messages. I haven't been this confused since my accountant told me I could save money by giving to charity. It's like tackling global warming by putting air conditioning units on the polar ice caps to keep them cool.
But there are times when a few words of sense remind us of the underlying idiocy behind these associations; step forward Olympic silver medal-winning boxer Amir Khan.
Asked about McDonald's massive presence at London 2012 he said: 'This is clearly sending the wrong signal to kids and young people. If we want them to be healthy and educate them to eat healthily, we need to think about approaching them in a different way, especially around sport.
'The Olympics are a great opportunity to show young people what types of food they need in different aspects of their lives. I think this is a mistake.'
And there you have it. Khan had landed one of the more meaningful punches of his life. A top athlete had reminded the 2012 organisers that their responsibilities extend beyond merely clearing a space for a burger giant in return for a supersized cheque.
McDonald's (and Coca-Cola and others) tip money into sport's pockets because it is a wonderful public relations exercise. They want you to make an automatic, often subliminal, link between their brand and sporting excellence.
At this point some paid lackey will be emailing me to point out how much money McDonald's puts into youth coaching.
One of its executives even argued recently that its initiatives offer youngsters a chance to burn off excess calories accumulated by eating junk food. (At places like, McDonald's for instance).
That may be the case. I will even concede it is possible to eat at McDonald's every single day and not gain any weight. And here's how you do it:
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Take your Big Mac and remove the meat slices...
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Place the two burgers carefully over your eyes...
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Lick the mayo off the underside of roll while eating the gherkin...
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Then nibble the remaining items while standing on one leg.
You might feel ridiculous as you do this, but you won't be half as ridiculous as the people who think you can eat McDonald's every day and not gain any weight.
The global companies would prefer you to forget their sweaty, artery-clogging burgers made from '100 per cent beef' - and definitely not ground up cow's lips, eyelids and bumholes as some claim - are unlikely to ever make you a champion. They hope you will forget their tooth-rotting fizzy concoction contains 10 teaspoons of sugar in every can as well.
They want you to believe Big Macs and Coca-Cola are a natural fit with sporting endeavour, which is why footballers are paid to kick a ball about in front of their logos and why athletes will swear a trip to McDonald's once in a blue moon won't do any harm, when they are at a McDonald's event.
Of course it won't. The odd burger is fine for someone doing regular exercise. But the target audience for these initiatives are usually far too busy eating McNuggets in front of the Nintendo to do any running about.
Childhood obesity has more than doubled in the last decade. One in four children is now officially obese. Diabetes is on the rise and a lack of education about dietary habits is a root cause.
Hanging a medal around Ronald McDonald's neck at the biggest sporting festival this country has ever held isn't going to reverse that alarming trend, although it might accelerate it.
This is not about food snobbery, either. I am not a vegetarian, a food Nazi or a 'fussy eater' (a euphemism for 'brat'). I eat anything and have a healthy appetite. Admittedly, that has caused problems . There was the unfortunate night in the French restaurant when I said: 'Waiter, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse' and he took the remark more literally than I'd intended.
But sports authorities are plain greedy. Football clubs run around selling alcohol brands on the front of their jerseys, yet fans can't buy a beer at the ground. Gambling is the preserve of the over-16s, but children have the names of various bookmakers on their football shirts.
Cigarette brands, once the mother lode of commercial partnerships, are now considered sponsorship lepers.
I don't suppose one cigarette every few weeks will do much harm to the system either, but they were still rightly banned from any association with sport because they were plain unhealthy.
Sport has obligations that go beyond making cash, but it has been surrendered here.
Naturally, the Government hasn't said a peep. It has stood idly by, salivating at the sweet smell of money mixed with deep-fried fat wafting towards them.
It made a mockery of the guff about how 2012 would bring great health benefits and be 'the real legacy of the Games'.
It's nothing new, of course. Back in Roman times, Emperors distracted the public from the issues of the day with food and spectacular contests at their colosseums, a policy the poet Juvenal described as 'bread and circuses'. It seems little has changed, except the price, although ' burgers and circuses' might be more accurate these days.
A brilliant Oscar win
There were two truly heartening Olympic stories this week. First among them was the sight of the incredible double amputee Oscar Pistorius qualifying for the 400metres at the 2012 Games.
The man erased boundaries between the Olympics and Paralympics with one astonishing run. It is a remarkable achievement. Pistorius is already a winner at London.
Blades of glory: Oscar Pistorius deserves his place at London 2012
The British have an Olympic sensation too. The world champion open water swimmer Keri-Anne Payne was the country's first athlete to qualify for 2012 and is sure to be one of the faces of the Games. I know how much hard work she puts in. She deserves every success coming her way.
Williams is just the moan man
Tiger Woods' caddie Steve Williams got a little carried away with his Aretha Franklin this week.
After hearing his 12-year job hauling a bag around for the once brilliant golfer turned waitress botherer was over, Williams demanded some R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
'I think anybody in my situation would say they didn't have total respect and that respect would have to be earned,' he moaned. 'Obviously this is certainly not earning my respect. I told him he had to earn my respect back.
'He was aware of that and right now I've lost a tremendous amount of respect for him. Through time I hope he can gain my respect back. He definitely needs to earn my respect again, that's for sure.'
Tiger attack: Axed caddie Steve Williams (left)
He may have added: 'And all I'm asking in return, honey, Is to give me my profits, when you get home - just a little bit'. But I can't verify that last extract because by then he was talking to the hand.
Remember this caddie got more than just a little bit. Tiger once gave the bag carrier a Ford GT worth $140,000 after winning a tournament. In fact, the sublime sporting talent of Woods earned Williams an estimated $12million in their time together.
That is for reading a yardage chart, wiping a nine iron with a towel, holding a flagpole and then saying 'it looks like it might go left to right'. But not in a lap dancing club, of course. Because Williams says he knew nothing about Woods' insanely manic private life during their time together, which is an extraordinary admission over 12 years.
So either he's covering his tracks with the missus, or the two men had a relationship based on pure business, not friendship.
Either way - with respect, Steve - do shut up. What you want? You know you got it.
Not so hot off the press
Breaking transfer news: Cesc Fabregas still wants to join Barcelona; Carlos Tevez still intends to join a club that isn't in Manchester; Luka Modric is at Tottenham but still doesn't want to be and Wesley Sneijder is still earning a lot of money at Inter Milan and seems far from inclined to give it up.
That's right, people. The situation is constantly changing by the hour.
3:45 AM
Shweta Pandey
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Olympic Stadium (pic: PA) 
The British mat-ador: Aaron Cook has plenty of confidence in his new training set-up (Pic: PA)
"You have to look at it like a hurdles race, just looking at what's directly in front of you.
©LOCOG
There were moments when we were firmly reminded we were in London. Walking the course, by far the most picturesque fence is number five, a banana-shaped construction painted blue with gold stars (left). Horses jump over it, seemingly into the already famous view down to Queen's House and the City beyond. No prizes for guessing what will be the most photographed fence at the test event. 